


Final Fantasy X Sketchbook

by ead13



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ead13/pseuds/ead13
Summary: Just a series of reflections I feel compelled to put into words, the thoughts I imagine the characters having that would make an even richer story. Told from the viewpoint of several main characters, presented in chronological order.





	1. Pregame - Tidus

Slowly I sink into the water of the warm-up pool, putting myself back into my element, back in control. Tonight's game is a big one for the Abes, and I need to clear my head before it starts; I can't afford any distractions if I want this to be my break-out performance. I want the water to wash away the traces of unpleasant memories which plague me no matter where I go. They are making me second-guess myself.

Man, just an hour ago, I was on top of the world. This is a huge blitzball tournament, and it feels like half of Zanarkand is looking to me. They don’t doubt my ability to win the game for my team even though I am the youngest player. I could barely leave my house this evening without being engulfed in a buzzing mob. Boys beg me for an autograph on their blitzballs, and plead me to teach them the game. I feel like a god. Girls who don’t even play ask me for autographs too. I’m pretty sure they were starting to swoon. I admit it, I get caught up in it all. I tell the girls I’ll score a goal for them, and meet them after the game. I promise the boys that tomorrow I will practice with them. This is my life!

And yet, it seems that no matter how successful I am, this life is not mine. As I hurry towards the stadium, I am stopped by more well-wishers. I am positively beaming until the name comes up again: Jecht. “We expect no less from Jecht’s son,” they say, and my grin evaporates from my face. “Will we see THAT shot tonight?” they continue, oblivious to the cloud that covers my face. All I can do is mutter something like ‘we’ll see’ and turn away. I am greeted by the image of my old man, cocky grin and all, plastered across a billboard. Smug bastard is still looking down on me. Even as I press onward, I can overhear the children muttering “I wish I had a father like Jecht…”

I shouldn’t let it bother me like this. After all, I am playing in the Jecht Memorial Tournament. Still, it’s eating me up inside how gaga the city is going for a man who’s been gone ten years. It’s not like they knew him. If they did, if they lived with him like I did and got a glimpse of the man he truly was behind all that swagger, they wouldn’t be swapping “where I was when I heard about Jecht’s disappearance” stories. Worst of all, no matter what I do, it will always be beneath his shadow. He was the best blitzball player there was, and even if I rise to that level, it will always be because of my lineage. It makes me wonder why I even took up the sport at all.

I close my eyes and listen to the hum of the stadium. The energy out there is electric. I feel the ripples gently beat against my chest. The water is cool and cleansing. Soon, my thoughts turn to our opponents. My teammates have told me many times that they play dirty. Well, tonight it won’t help them at all! I think about those girls. I owe them a goal. I think about the boys. I really do owe them one too. My heartbeat quickens and my fists clench as I imagine what it will be like in the pool, dodging tackles, winding up to fire…

And I see myself begin to flip backwards… No matter what, tonight is the night I will perform THAT shot. Then, no one can say my old man was the best. It will be me! I'll surpass him at his own game, and the fact that it will happen on the night honoring him will make it all the better. This is my reason for taking up blitzball, there's no point in denying it.

I take a huge breath, then dive, letting the water swallow me. Ten years of preparing for this moment will pay off, I swear it.


	2. Futile Resistence - Tidus

This must be a dream, it must. The Duggles are a rough team known for taking cheap shots; maybe they hit me too hard during the match, maybe a blow to the head? How could a scene like this be possible otherwise? 

I take it all in as I pause to catch my breath. I can hear the screams of terrified citizens as they desperately run for their lives. I can smell the smoke of the fires, caused by toppling buildings and explosions. However, it is what I see that I cannot believe. We aren’t being attacked by an army, and we aren’t being hit by a humongous storm. The cause of all this destruction and panic is a giant ball of tumultuous water, rising up from the ocean. Even as I stand, it is pulling in debris and rubble like a black hole. Anyone in their right mind would have lost it by now, but for some strange reason this is too farfetched to make me that scared.

And then there’s Auron. I probably would have frozen up before long and been overtaken by the blob as reality set in, but seeing his controlled composure prevents that. When I look up at him, I can’t believe he is standing calmly, as if this is nothing new, something completely expected. What is his deal? Auron annoys me enough on a normal day because he is a friend of my old man, but his attitude in this nightmarish situation makes me even madder! “Let’s go,” he states simply, and as much as I hate it, I have no choice but to obey, following him through the chaos.

Before long, our path is blocked by more bizarre monsters. These scale-like creatures were shed from one of the blob’s now apparent tentacles. I can’t count them all. Just great. I do my best to swat them away, but only manage to scrape my hands without gaining any ground. Again I am about to lose hope when Auron tosses me a long sword. “A gift from Jecht,” he comments in a complete deadpan. What? Why? I try to lift it, but it is heavy. I may be an athlete, but I am used to the weightlessness of water. Even as I make an attempt to swing it around, I topple over. Was this some kind of joke? I wouldn’t put it past my old man, getting a good chuckle at the sight of me landing on my rear end. I feel a strange annoyance at being so clumsy, even at a time like this. Determined, I get back up and take my best stance alongside Auron. I glance at him, and he is wielding a sword twice the size of mine. With one hand. What the heck is his deal?

We put up a valiant effort against our countless foes, but a dead end is inevitable. The road in front has been destroyed, and a chain of explosions follows behind us. This is it. Even though surviving this whole ordeal is impossible, my instincts of self-preservation win out and I taking a running leap for the next ledge. I am deafened by the explosions, I feel the heat of the flames on the back of my neck. I think as I float through the air “This is insane.” And then I grab a hold of the ledge.

I never get the chance to lose my grip and plunge to my doom. Auron, who magically as ever made it to the other side on his own two feet, stares down at me in my predicament. However, he is in no rush to pull me up. He seems to be talking to himself under his breath. I call his name in desperation, again and again, each time more frustrated. Finally, he grabs me by the shirt and hoists me up. He does not let me go, and in that split second, I realize that the giant ball of water has caught up to us. Except it is not a giant ball of water. Now I can see that it is covered with a thick, scaly hide. This is how it will end, after all we went through. I start to feel light-headed. I think we are being pulled into it. The last thing I see before losing myself is the sight of Auron’s serene face. He accepts this completely. Damn you Auron…

Right before it all goes white, a rough voice reprimands me, the same one that still haunts my nightmares. “Hey! Heeey!” My old man?


	3. Left for Dead - Tidus

Slowly I come to. Where am I? The end of the world? All I can detect are water, fog, and tumbled-down structures of stone, one of which I am laying on face-down. Once in a while, angry flashes of lightning and the grumbling of thunder interject in the distance. In desperation I call and call, but there is never a reply besides the harsh slapping of waves on the ruined walls. I am alone. This time, the water does not refresh me. Instead, I feel death’s frozen hand squeezing the air from my lungs. I can't stay here like this.

Of course, it turns out the alone part’s not entirely true. I’ve lost Auron, and there are no signs of people anywhere, but as I begin to swim I find there are fiends lurking…

I fight off the weakest ones with my new sword, just barely doing enough to keep them back, but a truly terrible monster has found me. All I can think about as I stare into its exposed rib cage is how I am going to die. In fact, why didn’t I just die before, in that attack on Zanarkand? It would have been better than this, prolonging the fear I can’t keep down. Still, my instincts for survival force me to kick furiously in the opposite direction of the creature. It is close, but I'm a strong swimmer thanks to blitzball and manage to escape into the heart of a ruined building where it can't follow.

The sensation of cold overtakes me as I crawl up the stairs. All this wet, damp, dark… The windows high up in the main hall let in the blowing rain in addition to the water trickling down the walls. Should I have just let myself be eaten by that monster? Because now I’m going to die a slow death. Shaking it off once again, I scavenge the run-down hall, climbing over fallen chunks of ceiling and pillars that hint at a once grand structure. I need to make a fire, or I’m done. If nothing else, the movement keeps me a bit warmer and takes my mind off the doom and gloom. In my explorations I manage to come up with some flint in an overturned dresser drawer, and a withered bouquet from a sheltered sconce. These remnants makes me wonder how long it has been since people set foot here… It couldn't be too long if the flowers haven't fully decomposed, right?

There is an impression in the floor, and I manage to start a meager fire. The flames are small, but I’ll take anything at this point. I huddle close, trying to revive my frozen limbs as I rub them for friction. Soon, sleep overtakes me, despite the hundreds of eyes that seem to stare at me in this hall, from statues carved into the walls, peering from every direction. Everything that has happened has left me too exhausted to fight it. It occurs to me as I drift off that it is entirely possible that I will never wake up once I fall asleep, but I’m okay with that, I guess. What a strange place to die…


	4. The Boy From Baaj - Rikku

We found him while we were out scavenging. That goes without saying, I guess; after all, we are always scavenging, hunting for pieces of a forgotten past that may be the key to our future. That is what it means to be an Al Behd.

Anyhow, it was out at Baaj Temple. You know, from that island to the south Sin wiped off the map a few years back? We were hoping to find clues there that might lead us to the rumored airship at the bottom of the sea nearby, and a living person was the last thing we ever expected to find in a place deserted for so long and half submerged in water. That’s probably why the rest of the guys in my team jumped to the conclusion that he must be a fiend in human form. Only a fiend would appear in the wake of Sin’s destruction.

I knew better, of course, but I can’t blame them any. I might have thought he was a fiend too if I wasn’t bilingual. He was so happy to see other humans, especially after we worked together to take down that Klikk…what a shame I had to knock him unconscious. The others needed proof that he wasn’t going to morph while he was under.

He didn’t morph, but when he came too, and after talking with him, he didn’t seem entirely human either. I can’t put my finger on it. Is it because he talks about playing blitzball in Zanarkand as if it were yesterday? Anyone in all of Spira would know the city has been a pile of rubble for a thousand years. How close did this guy get to Sin’s toxin? That must be why he’s not all there. I can’t figure out any other explanation for his crazy story!

At least he is here, though. He must be very strong to have withstood Sin in the first place. No, I know he is strong, and maybe that’s another reason he doesn’t seem human. He survived alone in Baaj temple. He holds his breath longer than the best of the Al Behd. And he can fight! I haven’t told my brother this, but if I had gone to turn on the power for our excavation alone, I might not have made it back. He really helped me as we fended off the huge fiend inside the wreckage. Maybe most importantly, even though a lot of bad things have happened to him, he seems to have a resilient personality. He jumped right in to help us, even after we captured him and roughed him up. He was so thankful for the food we gave him (even though all it was really was slop!), and he asked me all sorts of questions.

He is so nice, it really makes me feel bad to shatter his illusions about the existence of Zanarkand, but he has to know the truth before he says something to the wrong person. We Al Behd know better than anyone what disagreeing with Yevon can earn. But I couldn’t leave it there. I offered my help in finding his friends at the blitzball matches of Luca. Seeing as he's so natural in the water, I don't doubt that part of his story. I certainly didn’t care what my brother had to say about it.

I guess, in the end, I’ll never know where he belongs. Not long after our conversation ended, Sin appeared, and that mysterious boy from Baaj temple was tossed overboard. I don’t know what to think, but it makes me a bit numb inside. Was he an illusion, a miracle sent from Yevon to protect me on my mission? Will I ever see him again?

I’m not very religious, which is why my people are everyone’s enemies in the first place, but now I find myself saying a quiet prayer for him, even if I don’t know to whom.


	5. The Boy From the Sea - Wakka

It doesn’t take long for everyone in Besaid to hear about the boy from the sea.

I suppose Luzzu and Gatta started spreading the word, seeing as they were the first ones back from the beach to the village. From there, one person tells another, and like wildfire it spreads, ya? Life is so slow on the island, and any news is big news, especially something so strange.

Luzzu and Gatta can’t take all the credit. Me and the boys were out practicing blitzball in preparation for the tournament when a stray shot flew into the cove. It was as if the hand of Yevon guided the shot to him, floating face down in the water. When we saw it, we thought he was dead for sure, ya? Well, the hit woke him up. Even further from what we imagined, he grabbed the ball, gave a shout of joy, and after throwing it into the air, performed the most a-MAZING shot. He like flipped over backwards and delivered a kick so hard it flew past us and into the jungle beyond with a wicked hook. I think I could feel the breeze it stirred up as it sailed by...

Well, my boys’ jaws about fell off their faces, ya? But me, I was thinking about how much we needed him on our team! He swam over, and all I could say was “Can you…do that one more time?” The first time was no miracle; he completed the shot again with a big grin on his face. Now I am convinced he is a gift from Yevon.

Luck runs short when I ask who he plays for. His answer without a hint of hesitation is the Zanarkand Abes. We all were beyond confused. What kind of a joke is this? He sees our confusion and does a double take, explaining quickly that he has gotten too close to Sin. This is explanation enough, I know, but when he says it, he looks so dejected, like he is being forced to tell a lie. I can see he doesn’t believe that it is true. We try to cheer him up, but I don’t think it did much good.

Soon, we are walking back to the village, where I told him he could stay for a while until his memories came back. As we stand next to the edge of the cliff, I just reach over and push him in to the pool below. I don’t know why I felt it was okay to do that. We’ve only known each other for a few minutes, but something in me reacts to him the way I would to Chappu. Luckily, as I jump in after him, he seems okay. That only prompts me to put him into a headlock. “So, I’ve got a favor to ask you…” And like Chappu, he is able to break free and heaves a sigh. “You want me to play on your team, right?” He’s really not psychic, I’m just easy to read I guess.

Truth is, I started to feel a bit guilty for asking that of a guy who has lost all his memories and washed up on a foreign shore. I told him my story as we got out of the water and began the hike. I finished by telling him that I only hoped for our team to do its best at the tournament. When he heard me say that, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned quickly to look me in the eye. “Victory,” he said, “is the only goal.” And as he said it, he smiled, as if recalling former glory. It was then that I knew it was all going to be okay. I wasn’t using him, and in fact, my first impression was right on the mark. This guy really is just like my little brother.

Now as long as he doesn’t open his mouth and say something sacrilegious… You can only blame Sin’s toxin so many times, and he’s even forgotten the prayer! I had no idea the toxin could be so bad, but that has to be the reason for the things he says, right?.


	6. Foreign - Tidus

Now that I’m alone in these empty corridors, each footstep echoing off tile walls in a way that puts me on edge, I wonder what I was thinking when I barged in here. Then again, I guess I wasn’t thinking at all. They made me mad, and even if I had wanted to help the person stuck in this “Cloister of Trials”, I’m pretty sure I darted past the guard just to spite them and their stupid rules.

The rules are all so different in this world! I mean, honestly, what kind of place forbids people from helping another person in danger? When I suggested it, they all looked at me, horrified that I could ever utter such a thing. “It goes against the precepts!” the monks and priests exclaimed, like that was somehow reason enough. It can't be more than a taboo though, because if something horrible was going to happen because some commoner went in, wouldn't they have just told me? And it’s not like I was the only one thinking it; I heard plenty of whispers from the children, but the adults gave them the same response.

Their attitudes match this place: austere and reverent. I don’t know that it is necessarily a bad thing, but I sure don't like it. It’s just…weird to me that they sit before these solemn statues and pray instead of taking action themselves. It's all so hollow, like brainlessly going through motions. We sure didn’t have anything like this back in Zanarkand!

Now, here I am, alone in forbidden territory. Still nothing that looks particularly dangerous that my unwanted presence would trigger. I wonder if the “Sin’s toxin” excuse is even going to work this time. It doesn’t matter now; I’m in too deep to turn back. I simply press on further into the passages, solving the puzzles that should lead me to the straggling summoner. I don’t know what I will do when I get there. Ah well, that doesn’t matter yet.

As I enter a dead-end room, I hear a familiar voice from behind me. I jump a bit, and spin around, and am shocked to see Wakka casually standing there with his arms folded. He tries to scold me for my defiance, but even he knows it isn’t working. I wonder why he isn’t angry at me for breaking the rules. Maybe he wished he could break them too, and this gave him an excuse? It must be something like that, because instead of dragging me back out, he leads me onto a lift that will take us to the summoner.

That guy, that Wakka…I owe him so much. After seeing the villagers’ and the priests’ reactions to what I have done, I understand how lucky I am that such a friendly, easy-going guy found me first.


	7. Her Guardian - Lulu

She has been in there for so long. I don’t remember it taking so long with my past two charges… I look over at my fellow guardian, Kimahri. As usual, he is silent and impossible to read, arms crossed and gaze fixed on the door to the inner sanctum. He’s not much for company in this trying period, but I can handle the pressure. I’ve handled far worse. 

My thoughts always return to Yuna, who is so close, just on the other side of that door, and yet so impossibly far. There is nothing I can do for her right now as she entreats the fayth inside. She has wanted to become a summoner just like her father before her for a long time, even though both Wakka and I tried to discourage her. To choose this path is to choose pain, loss, and ultimately death. She knew, and she chose anyhow. What else could we do but support her? How could I do anything but stand by her as her guardian, willing to defend her to the end, knowing her will was set? But how awful it would be if she couldn’t even pass apprentice summoner and receive even one aeon…

My thoughts are interrupted by a clamor coming down the lift. I'd recognize that voice anywhere, and I immediately cast a scowl in that direction. Wakka… He is never serious, even at a time like this! Then, my heart skips a beat when the lift comes into view and I see the boy next to him. I blink, and the moment is gone. He looked so much like Chappu in that split-second, but with closer inspection it clearly is not. Still, I murmur “Who are you?”

He does not get a chance to respond, as the doors to the chamber of fayth slowly creak open. Against a backdrop of radiant light is the silhouette of Yuna, my dear Yuna. She teeters, and as she takes a step forward, she nearly falls over. Luckily, Kimahri is quick and catches her before any of us can react. She is alive, though weak, but has she done it?

A slow smile crosses her face as she relaxes into Kimahri's arms. “I did it. I became a summoner,” she reports quietly as a trickle of sweat drips down her face. The joy on her face is enough to fill my own heart with immense happiness. Her dream has come true.

Later, as she shows the entire village the aeon she is now able to summon, I look on. Again, I notice how happy she is as she gently strokes the feathery being who responds to her call. However, I also recall what will befall her now that her fate is sealed. I approach her alongside Wakka and give her a deep, heartfelt hug, masking my pain that is the flipside of my joy.


	8. Stalking Prey - Kimahri

Wakka may enter. Wakka guardian after tournament. Loud mouth foreigner not guardian, defile sacred place. Voice disturb Yuna when she must concentrate, anger fayth which might not give blessing. Priests cast her out of Yevon for his crimes… Why do others not throw him out? But Yuna come, Yuna has aeon, all is forgotten.

This time no harm, but he joins group until Luca. He blames Sin for forgetting proper ways, but all can see he not care about proper ways. Breaks rules all the time. Worse, Yuna seem to like him! Defend him! My job to protect Yuna, help to become summoner. If she get close to this boy, she will suffer. She might go astray. He must not leave with us. On Khimari’s honor as guardian, will save Yuna from him.


	9. Spectres of the Past - Wakka

I think we did it, praise be to Yevon. Yuna and we guardians were able to drive back Sin. Finally, the boat stops rocking violently and the spray of waves over the deck calms. The tell-tale fin is nowhere in sight. My first instinct is to take a headcount, ya know? I quickly count Lu, Yuna, and Kimahri. Then, all of my blitzball bruddahs. That’s all. Except…

I look around frantically. Where’s Tidus? He had been fighting alongside us as well when I last saw him. Now… Not seeing him anywhere, I take a running jump off the boat. I think maybe I heard Lulu reprimanding me for being foolish before I hit the water, and that wouldn’t surprise me at all. Lu always calls it like she sees it, and I wasn’t thinking this through, really. I was just so worried, even though I haven’t known the kid for that long!

My eyes slowly adjust under the water. It doesn’t take long to see his limp form slowly sinking downwards. My stomach drops as I further detect a swarm of small but feisty sinspawn repeatedly attacking his defenseless body. With all of my might, I swim like a madman to where he is, angrily hurling my ball to drive away the enemy. They scatter, and when I arrive, I quickly deliver a potion to him. I am relieved when he opens his eyes and moves around a bit. He looks at me, wondering. I just smile and give a thumbs-up. I won’t lose him like I lost Chappu.

It may be too soon to celebrate. We feel a rush of cold water brush past, and when we turn we see a large jellyfish-type spawn. That’s okay, between the two of us, we’ve got this. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him raise his sword, the sword that I gave him when we left Besaid, the sword meant for Chappu. The guilt comes back again, and I have to scold myself for comparing him to my little brother as I aim my shot. He is a friend, and I would have saved him without thinking even if he wasn't like Chappu. Right?


	10. First Sending - Yuna

My calm voice is betrayed by the trembling of my hands as they tightly grasp my staff. “Please, allow me to send your dead.” The survivors of the attack bow their heads in gratitude. Now, their loved ones shall not return as fiends, but shall rest in peace on the Farplane. It is the only consolation they will get after so many unexpected and untimely losses.

I am okay with this part of my job, the part where I help the dead find peace. It is truly an honor to be able to help in this way. What makes me shake is the sheer number of dead. Everywhere I look, I am reminded by scattered debris, torn-up piers, roofless houses and household items bobbing in the sea. Half the town must be destroyed beyond repair from the attack. Elderly, adults and children, men and women, death has touched them all without warning. This is what Sin does. This is why I must defeat it no matter what.

It doesn’t hit me fully until the survivors lead me to a section of the dock and come to a rest. I look down into the water, confused at first by all the flowers floating on the now calm waves. Then, I understand, and horror grips me. Each flower is attached to a parcel, tightly wrapped in crimson cloth and sealed with a written prayer. This floating field...these are all the bodies.

I want to be sick. A first sending would be hard enough, but so many fatalities, taken in such a cruel way… It doesn’t matter though. This is my job, my responsibility. The people look to me for hope and encouragement. I can’t show my fear and despair, or else they have nothing. If I can't even do this, how can I ever hope to defeat Sin? I take a deep breath and calm my turning stomach. Then, I step off the pier…


	11. And She Dances - Lulu

How grown up she looks as she gracefully twists and turns her body in time with the swelling chorus, swinging her staff back and forth, calling up a swarm of pyreflies. Her long skirt and sleeves accentuate the flow of her movements. Wasn’t it just yesterday she was a clumsy little girl, peering shyly around Kimahri’s hulking form? I remember attempting to patch up scraped knees from her missteps in the viney undergrowth; the city girl needed time to adjust to life on Besaid. How far she’s come…

My reminiscing is interrupted by yet another inane question from that hopeless stranger. I’ve never heard of anyone forgetting the entire workings of the world due to Sin’s toxin! Doing my best to hold my temper so as not to interrupt Yuna, I quickly answer before cutting off the conversation. I want to focus on her as she completes her first sending, and it is easy to become hypnotized by the gentle sway of her dance.

I notice she keeps her eyes closed, perhaps to concentrate on the intricate routine she has practiced for years, but probably to avoid looking at all those dead. She really does her job well. Not for a single moment does she falter as she moves atop the water. I know this is hard for her. She has always been very empathetic.

As the pyreflies rise from the floating bodies into the setting sun, I almost believe she has entered a trance. Then, a single tear.

When she comes to me, the dance done, the first thing she does is look up into my face and ask “Did I do alright?” She still seeks my approval after all this time! I smile and brush my hand against her cheek. I can feel the wet trails left by her secret tears. This is my little sister, even if not by blood, and my heart aches. “You did very well. Next time, no tears.” Please, for my sake.


	12. Guardian - Tidus

I am super impressed that sweet, gentle Yuna is letting that annoying witch have it while maintaining her cool. Even more though, as she gives her retort, I am learning what it means to be a guardian. She tells this summoner that her many guardians reflect the fact that she trusts them all with her life. Having them is an honor.

Earlier this afternoon, she had asked that I become her guardian. Does that mean that after such a short amount of time, she trusts me with her life too? Is it because she’s convinced that my father guarded her father in the past, or is it because of her own feelings about me? I don’t know if I deserve that honor either way. Lulu was right when she questioned my lack of experience. The first time I held a sword I fell over, and that was only a few days ago. How can someone like me protect her?

Then I remember our skirmish with the sinspawn right outside the temple. It had caught us all off guard, but I held my own in the battle. Wakka had even told me that I showed great potential as a guardian. Of course, Wakka has always been the nicest to me, but when he told me I ‘kept up pretty well’ with the fiends of Besaid, well, that meant a lot to me. It still does. Perhaps if Wakka’s skill is pinpoint accuracy, Lulu’s is elemental magic, and Kimahri’s is copying enemy attacks, my thing could be reading the enemies’ movements and beating them to the punch. Yeah, then I’d fit in as part of the team…

I am so consumed by these thoughts that I am blindly following the others to the lift to the cloister of trials. I snap out of it when Kimahri roughly shoves me back off the lift with a low growl. “You are not a guardian yet,” Lulu warns with a raised eyebrow. “Wait here.” So I stand there looking like a fool as the lift begins to descend. For a second, I think Yuna is giving me an apologetic glance, but then she’s out of sight.

That’s right. When Yuna asked me to be a guardian, the others quickly tried to put off the conversation. I bet they were hoping she would forget to bring it up again if she got distracted. And when Wakka told me I’d make a decent guardian after our battle, Lulu reamed him for letting my similarities to his younger brother cloud his judgement. Of course, there's also the evil-eye I keep getting from Kimahri… I am not trusted by everyone, and until then I will only be a hindrance. I’m just the weird guy who asks too many questions and breaks all the rules. 

Gah! What do I even want? I suppose whether I’m a guardian or not, I just wish I didn’t have to stand here alone in a world that’s all new to me...


	13. Believer - Tidus

I step out onto the deck, unable to rest quietly below. Definitely too many people in that shared cabin, and half the Luca team was down there too, staring at us… Just looking at them makes my blood pressure rise, the self-important jerks! The inky night sky is littered with stars, and the salty breeze puts me in a much better mood. 

Unfortunately this doesn’t last long. As I turn the corner, I discover I haven’t escaped them all. The Goer’s captain and sub captain are speaking with Yuna. I want to turn around immediately before I can overhear any of their trash talk, but my presence has been felt. The Lucans call out to me, but it’s obvious from their tone that they are not going to wish me luck or anything nice like that. Yuna knows it too. She steps in and introduces me proudly. “He is the star player of the Zanarkand Abes.”

They look at each other, unsure of how to respond. The idea is clearly hilarious to them, but coming from the mouth of the revered summoner… They know they can’t laugh outright. I can’t stand the idea of them mocking her, even if it isn’t out loud, so I play the usual card. “I got too close to Sin’s toxin and…”

Yuna cuts me off. “No, the city of Zanarkand really exists. It does!” She will not allow me to make excuses.

“As you say, Lady Summoner,” Bickson replies with a greasy smile before dismissing himself and his cohort. As they walk away, I can hear them chuckle. I know Yuna can hear them too.

I turn to look at her, my face clearly showing my confusion. She knows she sounds ridiculous, so why does she defend me? Why won’t she let me just say what everyone wants to hear?

Her eyes reflect calm and firm resolution. “I believe your Zanarkand exists. I would love to see it someday.” Those words meant everything to me.


End file.
